Fun Ways to End an Argument

Hey guys and gals(or people in general)! Have you ever gotten into an argument with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you just want them to shut the fuck up? We get it: you're right, I'm wrong, let's move on! But somehow, even when you try to reach a conclusion, they just keep dragging it out and we need for that shit to stop pronto. Over the years of me being a weirdo, I've experimented with ways to really bring these situations to a halt in a fun and not insulting way. If you pay attention, you might learn something here.

• Use your arms as a distraction. I don't mean hit them, but slowly start to move your arms around in a not natural way. At any point you want the discussion to stop, slowly move your arms around and continue the pace for however long they keep talking. Pretty soon they'll be too distracted by your arm movement. And if they ask you what you're doing, try to get them to join with encouraging words. Either they'll be too weirded out OR they'll start to laugh and not continue fighting. Example: emo kids at metal shows doing a windmill.
  Yay conflict resolution!
• Start spitting up your words. This might sound gross but hear me out; it is gross. But at the same time, no one wants to get spat on. Just keep talking with words that have "s" in it, and softly spit at these occurrences. Either they will walk away (no body wants that much saliva) to dry themselves off or they'll start to focus on the spitting aspect and drop the original conversation.
• Be one with the puffer fish. At any point the other person is talking, start blowing up your cheeks. Hold it for about 5 seconds, and then release the air. After 10 more seconds, start the process all over again.
• Cross your eyes. Don't do that for too long, but while they're talking, just start to cross your eyes while directly staring at them. Have you ever been able to continue a conversation with criss-crossed eyes? Didn't think so.
• If all else fails, start talking in gibberish. At first, they'll want to keep yelling at you because you're not making sense. But if you keep it up, they'll just have to stop because no one can communicate in gibberish. That's the point. And if they start to talk back to you in gibberish, then you should say "I can't talk to you like this, you're speaking nonsense." and be the first one to WALK AWAY!